Vulgarity Gets You Nowhere
by PageKarasu
Summary: Heero's ears are betraying his eyes. That or Duo's a clever little bunny...


Pairing: 2+1 Archive: The Sanctuary and adultfanfiction.net and if you want it, sure. ^__^ Spoilers: Nay. Warnings: slight humor, eh fluff. yaoi. Disclaimer: Don't own it.  
  
Vulgarity Gets You Nowhere  
  
Heero took a deep breath, familiarizing himself with his surroundings. The two beds harboring thin sheets, the dusty lamp and the old rickety desk. that's all he need to know. There was one door, one window and if he stood directly in the center of his bed, there was sure to be a vent above him. He'd double check soon enough. He headed to the worn desk and settled his computer on it. Reaching behind it, he hooked all necessary plugs into their respective ports. It only took two seconds after that to realize that there were no sockets. Not a one. Where was Duo? They had switched rooms to one down the hall for that particular reason and now, he thought, to have moved at all seemed pointless.  
  
Duo wouldn't have done that though right? Heero asked him one favor, to simply make sure that they were redirected to a room that was quipped with the necessary utilities and luxuries that they needed. Heero realized his laptop battery had been running on low from the all-nighter he'd pulled yesterday. He cursed recognizing that he'd have to scope the room out in full now in order to find the plug Duo never briefed him on. He cursed again.  
  
Heero was bent over the table completely, feeling around for the wall plug he knew had to be there, when he heard the slight struggling of Duo trying to open the door. He'd tried to move the desk, but it was one of those screwed or bolted to the floor and frankly, Heero didn't want to have to be held responsible for a torn up room. He continued to search and a few seconds later Duo burst in, the basket full of clothes he was holding at an odd angle had slid almost completely out of the basket when he hiked it up for a firmer grip. Duo looked over at the curved body sliding along the desk and shrugged.  
  
"Duo," Heero huffed, his cheek pressed against the wall. "How come you didn't tell me that there wasn't an outlet in here for my computer?"  
  
Duo shrugged again. "You got a nice ass."  
  
"What?"  
  
"I said, you never asked."  
  
That made Heero's eyebrows raise up, but he ignored it. Duo always liked to play little mind games, Heero suspected, to aggravate him to no end. The braided boy said some odd things sometimes.  
  
"I don't have any other way of logging on and my battery is near dead. How am I supposed to check for mission details?" Heero said, checking behind Duo's bed.  
  
"It's not like you'll die without it," Duo replied, dumping the clothes onto his bed, " Don't get so worried. just strip."  
  
That caught a long sideways glance from Heero, but he didn't say anything. He stared at Duo's back as the braided boy diligently folded their clothes and hummed some unknown tune.  
  
"Duo?"  
  
"You wanna suck my cock?" Heero saw Duo's mouth moving from the side but couldn't believe that the words were flowing from his mouth.  
  
"Duo what?!"  
  
The violet-eyed boy whirled completely around to follow the sound of Heero's outburst, eyes wide and body on sudden guard. "What?"  
  
"What did you just ask me!?" Heero asked incredulously.  
  
The slight fear in Duo's face slid into something more like confusion. "I said, is this your sock?" Duo replied, dangling the single sock in his hand, before slowly turning back around to see if he could find it's match.  
  
Heero could've sworn. maybe he was going crazy. but why would he be hearing such. things?  
  
Heero shook his head, "Are you sure?"  
  
"Uh yeah, what did you think I had said?"  
  
"N.nothing."  
  
Duo rolled his eyes, "Riiiiiiight. Well look, if you won't suck my cock then I'll just put it inside. sound good?"  
  
"NANI YO!?"  
  
Duo eeped and literally jumped inches off the floor at the twenty octaves that Heero's voice reached.  
  
"What the hell is your problem? Heero. I don't think you are doing so well. What is it that they used to call soldiers in the old days with too much war in em'? Oh yeah, shell-shocked. You sure you aren't shell-shocked?" The braided boy queried, somewhat annoyed as he put the lone sock inside Heero's drawer.  
  
Heero sat down.  
  
"And anyway, not using your computer 24 hours a day is."  
  
"Stop talking Duo. I'm getting confused."  
  
"But."  
  
"Shut up for a minute!"  
  
Duo watched in morbid fascination as his partner had a conversation with himself. He was definitely upset that Heero had snapped at him for no reason. Whatever Heero's problems were, they sure as hell weren't Duo's problems. He looked at Heero for another minute before he dared to open his mouth.  
  
"What exactly did I do?" He asked, wincing and covering his head for blunt objects thrown his way.  
  
"You aren't saying what you're saying."  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"."  
  
"Come on Heero, something is going on. Tell me."  
  
Heero quickly mustered up the courage and said, "I hear you saying obscene things to me."  
  
Duo tried to hold it in, but laughed out loud. He pointed to Heero's drawer chuckling. "I was just doing laundry. I know it's. a rare occasion. but I don't think I'd be saying 'do me hard Heero' because of it."  
  
Heero stood and came closer to his friend. Duo thought for a moment that he mirrored that of a puppy from the curious tilt of his head. Duo stepped closer and placed his hand over the back of Heero's forehead.  
  
"You sure you don't wanna suck my dick?"  
  
Heero backed up quickly. "What?"  
  
"Are you sure you aren't feeling sick? Did I not just say that?"  
  
Heero shook his head. "That's what I mean Duo! You didn't! I heard two different things."  
  
"What did you hear?"  
  
"You asked if I was sure that I didn't want to suck your. dick."  
  
Duo snorted and pulled his braid from behind his back to fiddle with the tip. He looked at Heero with disbelief.  
  
"You think I'm lying."  
  
"Since when do you think such yummy thoughts Heero? Just a few minutes ago you were whining about the wall outlet, which is by the way behind that dresser next to the closet. And anyway, you don't strike me as someone who would."  
  
Heero regained his composure and calmed. "Even I don't strike myself as someone who'd think in that manner. So why would I lie?"  
  
Duo shrugged and began walking toward the door. Just before he turned the corner, Heero heard Duo's voice float across to him. "Well, maybe." Duo's head popped in, his body following in suit after he finished his sentence.  
  
"Maybe you just need to get it out of your system. I mean, I've always had this attraction to you. Whaddya say?"  
  
Heero harbored a blank look, not too sure if he was misunderstanding or not.  
  
".I."  
  
Duo grinned ear to ear shutting and locking the door behind him. Tugging at his school tie, he sauntered toward Heero who was sitting wide-eyed on Duo's bed.  
  
~ Owari  
  
Notes: A silly waste of time I know. 


End file.
